Thought for the Day
I kissed my husband off to golf this morning at 7 am and attempted to go back to sleep. Oh, how I enjoy my Sunday sleep-ins. So, snuggled back into bed, I lay with my eyes closed listening to the quiet and the occasional bird chirping outside. And, to my stomach growling from hunger. I'm a breakfast person and usually fix something to eat before anything else, so the desire to eat was the devil on one shoulder and the cozy bed was the angel on the other. The devil won. At 7:30 in the morning, I really can't think clearly, so I let my stomach take over. I figured I would eat and go back to sleep. Well, I did go back to bed, but Baby S was up, therefore so was I. I either have a soccer star or a junior boxer to look forward to. And as I lay there watching and feeling my stomach bounce around, I started thinking. Thinking about how cool this is and how frightening it is all at the same time. I mean, there is a human being inside of me......this little lightbulb moment came about a week ago when I felt movement for the first time. Of course, I knew I was going to have a baby, but to me, it was still so surreal.
I am having to deal with my bulging belly, something that is rather difficult for me personally. I don't want to sound pretentious, but I've always been a petite person who, though never had to work at being thin, or even thought too much about it for that matter. It was just who I was. Yes, I got tired of people saying "You're so little", etc. It really isn't easy being small either. It makes shopping very frustrating. But, at the same time, I liked being a size 1.
And though I do not regret my decision to have a baby, I do have concerns for afterward. Will I be able to get back down to my pre-baby size? Will my body never really be the same? I've never been one to exercise, so doing that after a baby is a totally new concept to me.
Seeing how I'm not really fond of change and I've never been confident about my body, I hope you can understand my feelings. While it is vain and insignificant to the overall picture, I can't help but wonder. I have never been one to make sure every hair has it's place and that my nose is powdered, believe me. So, why do I care now? I'm not worried about what Mr. S is going to think. That's the least of my concern. Our relationship is stronger than that.
What am I afraid of?
I am having to deal with my bulging belly, something that is rather difficult for me personally. I don't want to sound pretentious, but I've always been a petite person who, though never had to work at being thin, or even thought too much about it for that matter. It was just who I was. Yes, I got tired of people saying "You're so little", etc. It really isn't easy being small either. It makes shopping very frustrating. But, at the same time, I liked being a size 1.
And though I do not regret my decision to have a baby, I do have concerns for afterward. Will I be able to get back down to my pre-baby size? Will my body never really be the same? I've never been one to exercise, so doing that after a baby is a totally new concept to me.
Seeing how I'm not really fond of change and I've never been confident about my body, I hope you can understand my feelings. While it is vain and insignificant to the overall picture, I can't help but wonder. I have never been one to make sure every hair has it's place and that my nose is powdered, believe me. So, why do I care now? I'm not worried about what Mr. S is going to think. That's the least of my concern. Our relationship is stronger than that.
What am I afraid of?
posted by Lucky Gem at
1:00 PM
4 Comments:
The unknown. Some things are out of our control and that is scary. You'll be fine. No, you'll be great. I'll let the other mommies give you some wisdom, since I'm not there yet.
hmmm...I'm gonna need some more energy to keep up with my niece/nephew if he/she is so active. I'm sure Jason will buy them a ball to play with.
By
Blue Angel, At
8:29 PM
Exactly.. things that you just might not have complete control over. Girl, you are totally natural. Totally. You are scared of what might be or what even might not be.. you are worried about have everything is going to change and you can't do a damn thing about it. And you know it is ok, but that doesn't help. That is ok too.
Love you girl,
By
What The Hell Is This?, At
9:35 PM
Girl, do not worry! You have always been smaller than me and I had Zoe on Thursday and went to the doctor IN MY OLD JEANS (with a zipper and a button) the following Tuesday. It is possible... and I do not exercise either! Just let Baby S nurse the weight right off!
By
Anonymous, At
1:12 PM
All of this is totally normal! You probably will shrink back down very soon after giving birth. But your body will never be the same. It's about to go through something amazing. Nothing is the same after going through something amazing. Other things will change too. You'll see. But it's not bad change. It's just change. And with your body, it might only be things that you'll notice and others won't.
I'm going to have to back Liz up and warn you though that all of this stuff, these thoughts, they are going to get worse before they get better. I don't mean to scare you, again it's nothing bad, it's just kind of annoying b/c the thoughts, you don't understand them. You know they are silly, esp. when you type them out but still, you can't help thinking them. It's all part of it.
I know you remember some of my crazy posts when my mind just would NOT stop.
By
Silly Hily, At
2:27 PM
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